EDITORIAL
In my personal and sometimes insufferably New Age climb for the top of Maslow's pyramid I sometimes clash with traditional expectations and hit on a book or scrap of wisdom that I think is neat. I don't know whether it's neat for everyone or if it's the right piece of the personal puzzle at the exact right time, but in the past couple months I've stumbled on several that address Mom's Big Three: Get a Secure Job, Find a Nice Guy, and Buy a House. I of course have accomplished none of these things because traditional solutions don't appeal to me at all, and have only recently thought to search past the conventional.
First, Get a Secure Job. Job security is a myth as we all know deep down, and it's best to make one's own security. According to author Barbara Sher, whose guidance caters to the unfocused ADD types, you CAN have everything, just not at once. (Which reminds me of the Stephen Wright gag that goes something like "I go the the 7-11 and the guy is locking it up. I say "Hey, I the sign says you're open 24 hours!" The clerk says, "Not in a ROW!") So you make a multiple-year plan that's the goal-setter's version of serial monogamy. I discovered The Secret of Getting Rich, an eBook and online program. I discovered I developed multiple income streams as Paul and Sarah Edwards advise in The Practical Dreamer's Handbook. But mostly I parlayed months of hanging out in coffee shops into a serial gig designing coffee shops for an up-and-coming espresso chain, Espresso Americano. And Mom said no good would come from hanging out in coffee houses, but I got not only the world's greatest client and some phenomenal espresso (not to mention some really nice friends), but all kinds of fodder for magazine articles.
Second, Find a Nice Guy. Okay, I know several nice men of whom I'm very fond, but relationship material they are NOT. They're sailors or wanderers, a few endearing sticks in the mud, and can be made sad, jumpy or unhappy at the prospect of change. Where do you find ones who might certifiably want a relationship? One place is eHarmony, a scientific electronic matchmaking program. You have to be pretty earnest to spend 90 minutes on a questionaire, and also, the inventor of the service puts a great deal of value on the Must Have / Can't Stand list. (Yes. Another goals list.) You're scientifically computer-matched by Values and Deep Meaningful Qualities, then you meet your matches in person and see if you click. I met some very nice men in person. Nothing's clicking. (One I affectionately call Guy Three has potential, but it's one thing to hit it off on the phone and another to hit it off in person.) I then ran across the book Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others by John T. "Dress for Success" Malloy. He surveyed men and women who were getting marriage licenses, on a variety of topics. It seems I'm not in the right frame of mind and balk at the tactics to adopt the right frame of mind. I'm having a Bridget Jones moment, where she unhappily surveys a stack of neurotic self-help books, chucks them all in the trash, and gets blind drunk.
Then Three: Buy a House. A nice responsible way to Empire Build, except that I don't want to take on that kind of heavy financial burden and I really don't want to own the kind of home that has coveted good resale value. I'm more a geodesic yurt kinda girl. Also, everyone I know who is single and owns a home had to choose between having a home and having a life.
I was grumbling about this to my buddy John (who is living the Midwest historical home remodelling dream/nightmare) while reading the May 2004 copy of "Real Simple" magazine and suddenly under my nose was an article with a solution. A New York City couple and their small daughter move onto a sailboat to cope with the post-911 layoffs, trying to staunch the loss of their savings to horrific rent, and fulfilling the husband's love of sailing. The story made it seem enchanting, but don't they all? I asked around the marina here in Everett, and have yet to find anyone who doesn't like living on a boat. The tax write-off, resale value and moorage fee are similar to buying a condominium. The price can be very reasonable, all the while building equity. Every liveaboard I know loves the lifestyle and the freedom. And if you feel like relocating, you can just stoke up the Perkins diesel, batten the hatches and putt away to another dock in another city, or a deserted little island, or just out into the middle of the breeze and drop anchor. You sure can't do that with a condo. So I'm looking into boats.
Everything worthwhile in my life has at first seemed ill-advised. And so I embrace my Inner Idiot for 2005.
