Jesus
of the Week website: Anyone
who doesn't think this site is hysterically funny must learn
the following:
Jelly Bean Prayer
RED is for the blood
He gave,
GREEN is for the grass
He made,
YELLOW is for the sun
so bright,
ORANGE is for the edge
of night,
BLACK is for the sins
we made,
WHITE is for the grace
He gave,
PURPLE is for the hour
of sorrow,
PINK is for the new
tomorrow,
A bag of Jelly Beans,
colorful and sweet,
Is a prayer....Is a promise...Made to you and me.
The Flag Code, which outlines the handling and display of
the American flag, reads more like a blue law. It has been challenged
twice as unconstitutional, and still continues to take a crass
beating on a daily basis. You can read the entire text of the
Flag Code here. And now, behold,
some gift items found on the internet that violate the Flag Code
and Good Taste.
The
Flag Code says nothing about smothering an eagle in United States
flags. Maybe they just didn't think of it.
We don't quite understand the function of this other one,
but it's a cover for a disposable lighter.
Smack the flag around
a nice grassy field, and then wipe your hands on another flag.
You won't have
Dick Nixon to kick around any more. Instead, you have these...
More in the Lobbing, Kicking,
Smashing and Throwing the American Flag genre.
I'm fairly sure there's a metaphor hiding in this stuff somewhere...
To appropriately
dispose of the wrapper, please refer to the Flag
Code and use your Patriotic disposable lighter.
We throw this one
in to show that at the winter Olympics they violated the Flag
Code, Section 8(c). Surely someone has read the Flag Code besides
a few boyscouts and Get Lost Magazine staffers?