The Wendy Way
To Non-Thinking and Shallowness

Guidelines for Life by Wendy Downer
Illustrations by Gail Boysen-Preset

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Editor's note: The Wendy Way to Non-Thinking and Shallowness has been enthusiastically endorsed by Dr. Phil, Oprah, Dr. John Gray, and that happy looking bald guy who writes self-help books for vegetarians.

Rule 1: Don’t think too much.

Rule 2: Practice being insincere sincerely.

Rule 3: If you have belt loops, wear a belt.

Rule 4: Marry an orphan.

Rule 5: Be careful whom you look directly in the eye. They may think you care.

Rule 6: Have pets instead of children. You can have your pets legally put to sleep.

Rule 7: When a man says trust me, get up, put your clothes on and leave.

Rule 8: It is all about me me me me me me me me.

The Answer to Why: Because I am Wendy.