The Wendy Way
To Non-Thinking and Shallowness
Guidelines for Life by Wendy Downer
Illustrations by Gail Boysen-Preset
Editor's note: The Wendy Way to Non-Thinking and Shallowness has been enthusiastically endorsed by Dr. Phil, Oprah, Dr. John Gray, and that happy-looking bald guy who writes self-help books for vegetarians.
Rule 1: Don’t think too much.
Rule 2: Practice being insincere sincerely.
Rule 3: If you have belt loops, wear a belt.
Rule 4: Marry an orphan.
Rule 5: Be careful whom you look directly in the eye. They may think you care.
Rule 6: Have pets instead of children. You can have your pets legally put to sleep.
Rule 7: When a man says "trust me," get up, put your clothes on and leave.
Rule 8: It is all about me me me me me me me me.
The Answer to Why: Because I am Wendy.
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