TELEMARKETER ABUSE - AS CRIMINAL AS MIME-BEATING.

Hey, Get Lost,

Please let McBee [May 2000] know about one strategy that telemarketers seem to loathe. When you receive a particularly obnoxious or ill-timed telemarketing call, try the following:

• First express enthusiastic interest at their pitch.
• Next say "Oh, hang on for a minute while I find a pencil and piece of paper".
• Put the phone down and walk away. Finish eating dinner, reading the paper, walk the dog, play with the kids...
• Return at your leisure and hang up the phone.

On one occasion when I performed this nasty bit of trickery the phone rang immediately after I returned the handset to the receiver. The same telemarketer I had left dangling thirty minutes before screamed "YOU ARE A VERY RUDE MAN!" and slammed the phone down.

I was literally rolling on the floor laughing.

Yup, I AM I very rude man...hee hee ha ha hoo hoo.

Mike McCrea

Our good friend Darrell Prowse likes to keep them on the line by asking rapt and detailed questions about what they may be selling, just to see how long he can keep them going. He figures that not only is he amused for hours, but the longer he keeps them tied up not making sales, the fewer people they can annoy. It's a public service, really...

Hey, Get Lost,

I have two solutions for telemarketers.

One is not polite. The other baffles them and makes me giggle. Either one is fair, frankly, because I didn't ask to be called.

The first happens quickly and simply. The phone rings, I pick it up and say my name... There is a pause, and then someone asks to speak to "Greg Brennan." It's obvious they are telemarketers, so I hang up.

The second is more fun, and only works when it's a long distance company calling. The caller asks, "May I speak to the person who is reponsible for the phones (or long distance) at your company." I respond, "We don't HAVE any phones at my company." There's usually a pregnant pause, and then a confused, "You don't have any phones?" "Nope." I say. Then I count one mississippi, two missisippi - click - and I hang up with a self-satisfied smile, and return to what I was doing before I got interrupted.

It's fun. Try it, and when you do, you won't be able to resist wondering what that person looks like or says after you've hung up...

Life's pleasures. Take 'em where you can get 'em... (And you certainly got yours in Las Vegas.)

Brennan

Hey, Greg -
You sure have some good ideas for someone I went to junior high school with. I found your picture in the Golden West yearbook - you looked like trouble then, and you seem like trouble now. Glad to see you've put it to good use.

Your story, by the way, reminds me of a good trick we used in Italy when I was a cute skinny college girl. When hit upon by men with maps and pick-up lines in most languages, we would point to the northermost part of the map they would offer us, and smile and say, "Finlandia!" They never knew how to hit on chicks in Finnish, and we could make a break for it. Another schoolmate would look right at them and say in her most American accent, "I'm sorry. I don't speak English." Like with your no-phone tactic, it gave her time to scamper away from unwanted attention while her pursuer stood there confounded.

Dear Leslie,

Thank you for writing us! It is wonderful to hear that your first experience with Krispy Kreme was so "heavenly." We are honored.=) You will be able to enjoy them more often in the near future! =) We appreciate you sharing the article with us and hope to see you soon!

Best regards,
Alison Brinson
www.krispykreme.com

(This was in response to my note to them that we were fans of their donuts and were beside ourselves with happiness that three Krispy Kreme donut shops were to open in the Seattle area.)