Half of zero equals...

Dear Get Lost Magazine,

I went to the grocery store and in the dairy case next to the milk stuff, there was a carton of Land O' Lakes FAT FREE half and half. What do you think it's half of, and how about the other half? I have to know.

An avid reader

Dear reader:
This question lends itself to a discussion we had with some friends about the direction water swirls as it goes down the drain in Australia. As you may know, the Coriolis force of the earth causes whirlpools to turn one direction in the northern hemisphere, and the other way in the Southern hemisphere. Just bear with us, because it eventually gets around to that fat free half and half question:

According to Kieran Finney, a major know-it-all who seems to know a lot: Toilet swirl has nothing to do with the spin of the earth. It is too small a surface to be effected by the centrifugal forces of the planet. The spin is induced by the direction that the water holes are placed. You can make a toilet that swirls in either direction, at either pole, and/or the equator, if you so choose.

So how does this apply to Land O'Lakes Fat free half and half? At the Get Lost Magazine Testing Labs we flushed a carton of the stuff down the drain and it swirled clockwise. Thanks for writing. Every letter to Get Lost Magazine gets a thoughtful and thorough response like this one.