Seven Packing Tips You Won't Find Anywhere Else - from Get Lost reviews Books on Packing for Travel - 11/00

Packing tips the experts all forgot:

Margaret Vanderwarden's Exploding Panniers Ritual: This trick I leaned from a cross-country biking friend before my own cross-country bike trip: Each night, pitch your tent, throw your bags into the tent, put on the light and take every last thing out of your bags. Mail stuff home you don't need, count your money, eat the squashed peanut butter sandwich so the bears won't find you, toss out the bad string cheese stuck to your Rock Creek Montana Testicle Festival t-shirt. Pack it all back up again.

The Little Hard Plastic Box: I carry one by Sterlite that holds 3 cups. It's just right for cheeses and squishy foods you can't resist, you can take leftovers along, and they won't squish further, or migrate. Stuff in a few airline-sized tequila bottles with a good Rochefort and you have quite a snack.

Adhesive transparent map dots: Get a variety pack from a map store, use them on your maps and in your guidebooks. Use the red ones to emulate chicken pox at the border. Customs officers don't think it's funny, but you'll get a good arrest story out of it.

Tic-Tacs. No substitute for these. Babies the world over think it's funny when you shake them. (The Tic-tacs, not the babies.)

For women, panty liners will keep your underwear cleaner longer. They're small, so bring lots. I can't speak for men.

A compass and small mag light, in your pocket all the time: You will use these at least once a day. Especially the compass.

Spenco Plasters and a bottle of Nu-skin: The hell with moleskin. You WILL get blisters. You WILL experience foot misery. Spring for these costly lifesavers and get on with your trip.

Five Telltale signs You're in a Bachelor's Kitchen - by "Eats" editor Martha Strom 1/1/2001

5. Those clever ice cubes with the dead flies in the middle.

4. A bowl of green slimey liquid that turns out to be last month's lettuce.

3. The yummy-looking funny-shaped crunchy chocolates you discover are ants - after you've just eaten three of them.

2. The gray furry dish he tells you is both spaghetti sauce and a penicillin substitute.

1. His personal toothbrush that doubles as a potato scrubber.

Five "Must Haves" for Your First Budget Trip to Paris, France (Also applies to Paris, Texas) -1/1/2001

5. A flowered, ruffled dress with matching ankle strap shoes.

4. A box of Kraft Velveeta cheese and a dozen Ding Dongs for snacking.

3. An assortment of tea bags and your very own thermos of hot water for those relaxing afternoons at a sidewalk cafe.

2. For special nights on the town--a $3.00 bottle of K-Mart's best perfume.

1. A razor with no blade and an empty deodorant container to make sure the French will feel you're one of them.