These Hotels Shouldn’t Exist, But They Do

A crane, generally speaking, is a large beam that suspends and moves very heavy objects. In Amsterdam, they’re for sleeping as well.

Perched up in the air and overlooking the city’s east (and pretty much everywhere else) is this pod tucked into a massive piece of construction equipment. It’s really, really nice on the inside as well – surprisingly roomy and with a luxurious bathroom and kitchen. It’s easily the best of the (admittedly niche) category of building apparatus/accommodation that we’ve come across.

We’re not sure whose idea this was, or why they did it, but we’re so glad it exists.

From AU$736 per night.

Copenhagen’s chimney house looks less like a house, or a chimney, and more like some sort of 1960s Soviet rocket-ship, if rocket-ships were made out of brick.

It is in fact a 1902-built water pumping station, with what seems like an excessively large chimney, although get lost acknowledges that travel is our expertise, and not early-20th century water pumping stations.

The interior of the Chimney House is nothing short of exquisite, with futuristic Scandinavian furniture, an epic staircase and wall to floor windows with stunning views over Copenhagen.

From AU$1,560 per night.

A villa, but make it a private jet. And park that jet on the edge of a cliff. In Indonesia. And then, there you have it: Private Jet Villa.

There’s no mucking around with this place, it is exactly as it sounds, and it sounds out-of-this-world awesome.

Perched precariously on the edge of a 150 metre cliff in Uluwatu, is a thirty-tonne Boeing 737. Its right wing serves as one of the most epic decks we’ve ever seen, and the interior designs, gorgeous.

It took five days to transport the previously disused and neglected plane into place, which was divided into five separate chunks, and then reassembled.

From AU$3,500 per night.

Trixie Mattel ain’t just a pretty face.

The former winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race has turned a run-down old motel in Palm Springs, California into a queer paradise, the Trixie Motel.

The refurbished mid-century motel contains seven rooms of whimsical, Barbie-style fabulousness, located in the heart of inimitable Palm Springs.

Until it’s time to sashay away, guests can enjoy over-the-top everything from wild wallpaper and art installations, to retro furnishings like flamingo lampshades and heart-shaped beds, all of which make you feel as if you’re actually on a RuPaul set.

The neon motel sign, which is visible from the road, would normally be the loudest thing at a motel, but remarkably, it feels almost understated here.

From AU$658 per night.

“You’ve been sentenced to a couple of nights in Pentridge,”, not something you wanted to hear between 1851 and 1997, when the tall bluestone walls of Pentridge Prison housed some of Australia’s most notorious criminals.

If you’re hearing it now though, it’s good news, given the brand-new urban wellness retreat, The Interlude, at Pentridge, a converted jail. And while you’ll walk through the same intimidating prison gates as the likes of Mark ‘Chopper’ Read, escapee Ronald Ryan and even Ned Kelly, you’re in for a slightly different experience.

There are 19 exclusive heritage suites, each created out of the original cells with vaulted brick ceilings, thick cell doors and bluestone walls. The walls they did demolish (to create more expansive bedrooms) took two weeks to knock down, FYI.

Meanwhile the bar features former cells converted into cosy booths and a wine cellar that was also a cell. A cell-ar, if you will. But the highlight of the entire hotel is surely found below ground, where there’s a candlelit pool that took three months to dig by hand.

Such is life.

From AU$700 per night.

Ještěd Tower is probably the most impressive TV antenna in the world.

It’s a 94-metre behemoth perched on top of Mount Ještěd, which is already at an altitude of about 1,000 metres. When lit up at night this colossal bit of construction gives the impression of a UFO perching precariously on the mountain top.

And if you’re an alien popping in from another galaxy (which apparently is commonplace nowadays), we can absolutely see why you’d land here, the vantage point offers extraordinary views of Bohemia. Both Poland and Germany are visible from Hotel Ještěd, which is in the cone-shaped building beneath the tower itself. Open since 1973, the once-futuristic and now retro-feeling aesthetic is unique: we’re calling it E.T. chic.

It’s affordable too: staying in a UFO with some of the best views in Europe for less than 50 Aussie bucks a night sounds pretty good to us.

From AU$191 per night.

This brand-new hotel in Indonesia claims it is the world’s skinniest: seven rooms across six floors, packed into a space just 2.8 metres wide.

A man named Ary Indra has built the Kate Moss of hotels in his hometown after coming across an unwanted bit of land which no-one wanted to develop, due to its strange dimensions. It certainly passes the eye test, that thing is like a pencil. It’s legit though; a proper hotel and strange enough as it is to say this, it looks pretty cool.

If you can navigate an incredibly narrow staircase, and you aren’t one of those people that hurls their shit everywhere as soon as they check-in. This could be a fun little adventure off the beaten track in Indo, a reason to visit an area you might have missed out on otherwise.

From AU$84 per night.

Going underground is generally synonymous with fugitives on the run or sheltering from a bomb threat. But here at Casa na Terra, it’s a place you go willingly. And you never want to leave.

The house blends naturally, almost seamlessly into the Portugese landscape. So seamlessly it’d be understandable if nearby animals and humans didn’t even know the place exists. Looking for privacy? This place is on another level.

This subterranean lair is definitely up there on the architectural genius scale, but the main brilliance of Casa na Terra is it’s total originality. It might just be the most beautiful bomb shelter ever made.

From AU$600 per night.

To stay at one of the many old school, but newly renovated, European castles on the market, you usually need to be prepared to leave with a wallet considerably lighter than the one you took in.

Not here though. Albergo Il Monastero, in the Aragonese Castle, is the achievable European castle stay; a former 16th century convent with rooms starting at just AU$275. Bargain.

Il Monastero, is a restored stone beast perched high up on the Island of Ischia, just off the Italian south coast.

From this vantage point you can sit on the castle’s terrace at night and admire the lights of the fishing boats as they bob gently up and down in the Gulf of Naples, catching fresh seafood for your next day’s dinner.

Across the way is the hullabaloo of Naples, but that’s well in the distance; here you’re ambling about with a vino from the on-site vineyard, at complete ease with the world. #CastleLyf is pretty sweet, if you can afford it.

From AU$275 per night