A Holy Pilgrimage: Boudhanath Stupa

In a city filled with the incessant tooting of taxis and rickshaws, and stall owners selling their wares, Boudhanath Stupa is a peaceful retreat nestled among the constant hustle and bustle of Kathmandu. Built during the fourteenth century, the stupa is situated near the outskirts of the city in Bouda, and has been an important place for pilgrimage and meditation for Tibetan Buddhists and local Nepali people for centuries.

Get close to the divine as you walk around the white dome in a clockwise direction to pay your respects, inhaling sweet incense and blooming marigolds, listening to the hypnotic tune of chiming prayer wheels being turned and monks chanting as they make their way around the temple’s base. Once you’ve completed your journey, climb to a balcony at one of the surrounding cafes or the monastery for panoramic views of the city and mountains. Damaged during Nepal’s devastating 2015 earthquakes, the stupa is currently being restored but is still open to visitors who wish to experience its spiritual and humbling atmosphere.

Sky High at Cloud Lounge & Dining

Where can you chill out after a day sweating it out on the steamy streets of Jakarta? A drink in the freezing Vodka Room at Cloud Lounge & Dining is a good place to start. Knock back a shot in a climate-controlled zero degrees, then head outside into the night’s balmy embrace to thaw out. If the vodka doesn’t get you tingling the views certainly will.

Located on the 49th floor of the Altitude skyscraper, Cloud Lounge has a vantage point unlike any other, with sweeping views across the city. Hold a gathering in one of five ‘living rooms’ that re-create the cosy atmosphere of a private home, or simply relax in the lounge bar and enjoy a cocktail as the sun sets over Jakarta’s skyline.

Feast on Crispy Skin Pigeon

Hate pigeons? You’re not alone. Shooing them away from public squares may give you a sense of satisfaction, but the Chinese enjoy an even more permanent way of banishing these pesky creatures – they eat them. Visit markets around Guangzhou and you’ll see birds plucked and preened for sale, but for some of the city’s best pigeon head to Shen Ji restaurant, which sells up to 500 birds a day.

Pass the painted flock at the entrance and settle into the back room with mountains etched on the walls and framed photos of cooked birds gazing at diners with glazed eyes. Choose from an array of flavoured pigeons, including tea and ginger, and squab persevered in bean curd. However, it’s the roasted variety – dished up hot with crispy skin and tender meat – that’s the clear winner. Each bird arrives with its head cocked between a body cleaved in two, ready to be set upon by chopsticks or fingers. Order yourself side of crunchy cucumber cooked with fragrant sesame oil, garlic and chilli and wash it all down with a beer. Revenge has never tasted so surprisingly sweet.

North Korea

Despite all the propaganda and rumours surrounding the Democratic People’s Republic, North Korea is one of the most fascinating travel experiences you could have and is certainly not out of reach. At the moment about 100,000 people a year are landing north of the DMZ and Kim Jong-un wants that number to reach two million by the year 2020. Rarely is an average tourist denied a visa and rarer still do they regret taking the opportunity to go.

Of course, North Korea is by no means your standard holiday destination, and independent travel is not an option. You’ll be escorted by government guides, won’t get much freedom outside of your hotel and there will be strict rules about what you can and can’t photograph. What you will get the opportunity to do, however, depending on which tour you’re on, is view the UNESCO-nominated landscape of Mt Kumgang and its 1200 waterfalls, gawk at the monumental architecture of Pyongyang, visit the Demilitarized Zone between North and South Korea and, more than all that, get a first-hand insight into a culture and country barely touched by the western world.

Powder to the People

I had been leading tours in North Korea for a year when I was invited to visit the newly built Masikryong Ski Resort.

Making our way up the mountain in the dead of winter, the usual propaganda signage of party progress adorned the snow-covered hills as we passed old-world farming villages in sub-zero temperatures.

The inaugural North Korean ski season was met with scepticism in the West, partly because sanctions prohibited a Swiss manufacturer from exporting ski lifts to the rogue state. But within North Korea, the ski resort reflected the advances the country was making under its new leader, with Masikryong becoming synonymous with progress and national pride.

In the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea achievement is often measured by how ahead of schedule projects are completed. Throughout our tour of the resort, local guides proudly boasted that the entire place was constructed in just 10 months. Inside the hotel you could still smell the plaster setting – the army likely worked overtime to have the resort built at what has been dubbed ‘Masikryong speed’.

At the pool and sauna we were presented with baby-blue speedos to wear in the steam rooms alongside perplexed elderly Korean women. Symbolic of the centralised production of clothing, every swimmer wore one of two styles of swimsuit. The hotel also had a rare resource – internet, available in the business centre if you don’t mind someone beside you taking notes of your searches. North Korea has the lowest internet connectivity in the world, but the bandwidth on the isolated mountain was surprisingly reliable.

After squeezing my feet into snowboard bindings two sizes too small, I hit the slopes. Masikryong is an ambitious attempt to attract overseas tourists, but the only foreigner I encountered was an Austrian ski instructor. Granted, he spoke highly of the overall standard of the nine ski runs. The West has portrayed Masikryong as a plaything of the country’s elite, built at the expense of the broader, impoverished population. Yet, from what I saw on the mountain, the rookie Korean skiers falling over each other were all with work units, most likely granted the trip as a reward for achieving production targets.

Music looms large in North Korean society. In Pyongyang, revolutionary tunes blast from street speakers and mobile vans, waking workers through a centralised alarm clock. Across Masikryong, the same music can be heard, reminding an emerging generation of skiers to think of the Workers’ Party of Korea and its leader while having fun on the mountain.

The placement of music along each ski run is precise and strategic. Only as our chairlift started climbing the mountain did the triumphant patriotic hymns begin to fade, but the reprieve was short lived. Once over the hill, speakers stuck to every few towers ensured the glorious revolutionary anthems kept us company for the entire 45-minute journey to the summit.

During the ascent, I learnt that the lifts dangling precariously from the slopes were acquired second-hand from China, bypassing trade sanctions. As we neared the summit, the view faded to white and I began to wonder whether safety standards had been compromised for the sake of Masikryong speed. Fortunately, a local bottle of alcoholic ginseng tonic shared with our Korean friends eased my anxiety.

At night the hotel was deserted until we chanced upon a room full of young soldiers, belting out revolutionary hits on a karaoke machine. Their mood was festive and they warmly insisted we drink with them. One of the soldiers was fluent in English and spoke sincerely of his gratitude for Kim Jong-un who, in his eyes, had worked tirelessly to gift Masikryong to the Korean people.

As the beer and soju flowed, the soldiers urged us to sing, dance and form a conga line with them. They pushed us onto the stage and demanded we sing an English song for them. With no English songs available, I was forced to eke out an a cappella rendition of ‘Moon River’, which was met with the raised eyebrows it deserved.

Suddenly, the soldiers marched out as one and we were left in the bar with a female singing troupe who turned out to be members of the Moranbong Band (North Korea’s first all-girl super group hand-picked by Kim Jong-un). Also at the bar was a casually dressed fellow who must have been someone significant, given he was permitted to drink with us. My assumptions were confirmed by the presence of a figure sitting across the room, watching us and smoking in the shadows as we chatted about life in the DPRK and toasted its new ski resort.

The following day as we departed Masikryong, we encountered dozens of farmers on the road using hand tools to uncrack the frozen highway. In the other direction a Mercedes Benz beeped its horn for the road workers to disperse as it ascended the mountain at Masikryong speed.

Beers and Pizza in ‘Nam!

Forget pepperoni and mozzarella. On October 9, International Beer and Pizza Day, we’re raising a frosty glass of bia hơi and tearing into Vietnam’s most underrated street snack – bánh tráng nướng – at a scruffy little student haunt called K298 in Da Nang.

You won’t find wood-fired ovens or sourdough crusts here. Instead, Vietnam’s answer to pizza starts with something beautifully simple: a sheet of rice paper (bánh tráng) laid across a sizzling metal grill until it turns golden and brittle. Then comes the chaos – quail eggs cracked and scrambled on top, dollops of chilli sauce, shredded dried beef (khô bò), spring onions, mayonnaise, sausage, garlic, herbs, and whatever else the chef feels like throwing on that day. It’s street-food roulette, and half the fun is not entirely knowing what you just ordered.

Each disc is crisp and smoky, a riot of textures and flavours that veer between spicy, salty, sweet and umami with every bite. It’s messy, addictive, and so light you’ll be ordering another before you’ve even wiped the sauce off your chin.

Of course, you can’t do International Beer and Pizza Day properly without beer – and in Vietnam, that means bia hơi: draft lager brewed daily, delivered by motorbike in steel kegs, and poured fresh into tiny glasses for about the price of a packet of gum. It’s low in alcohol, a little foamy, and dangerously easy to drink,  which is just as well, because the locals keep topping you up before you can say no.

The setting? Well, let’s just say Michelin inspectors aren’t exactly queueing up outside. K298 is a hole-in-the-wall with faded pastel walls and mismatched plastic stools, the kind of place where conversations bounce off the tiles and the smell of grilling rice paper hangs heavy in the air. Students crowd around tables, shouting orders over the clatter of spatulas, and everyone seems to be laughing. It’s loud, chaotic, utterly unpretentious and completely perfect.

So this International Beer and Pizza Day, skip the delivery app and raise a glass of cheap, frosty bia hơi to Vietnam’s crunchy, chaotic, wonderfully improvised take on pizza.

Because sometimes the best slice isn’t served from a pizzeria, it’s grilled over coals on a street corner, with a side of laughter and a dangerously refillable glass.

Meeting the Mongols

It’s been a whole two hours since we left Ulaanbaatar and I’m by no means comfortable anymore… nature is calling. I’ve been looking left and right in search of a tree but all I see are miniscule shrubs sporadically dotted across an ironed-flat land. Eventually I can’t hold on anymore and tell Shinee, our guide for the next 15 days, and Sansar, our driver, that it’s time for what we call a ‘nature stop’. A few of the other travellers in our group of six look on in relief. Evidently I’m not the only one who needs to stop.

Sansar pulls over and Shinee declares that men go left, women go right, clearly having done this many times before. “This is how nomadic Mongolians do it,” she chuckles, obviously enjoying this part of her job. “You’ll manage.” One of the women in the group attempts to chat while I’m mid-nature stop but I politely explain it’s no time for small talk. It’s day one, after all, and we’ve got two weeks together. Back at the van I declare nature stops talk-free. Everyone agrees.

We are journeying through one of the world’s most sparsely populated countries in Sansar’s trusty UAZ Russian van, taking unpaved roads that slash across a landscape millions of years in the making.

Around half of Mongolia’s three million-strong population live in the pulsating capital, Ulaanbaatar, or one of the other emergent cities. (The country is going through a mining boom and many former nomads are moving to towns.) The other half live life much like they have for centuries. Families reside in traditional gers and move three or four times a year with the change of seasons. Travelling with Intrepid Travel, we are here to see the real Mongolia – the seemingly endless plains, vast deserts, towering mountains and the people that call this wild and intoxicating landscape home.

Shinee warns us that some days we will spend up to eight hours on the road and perhaps only cover 100 kilometres, and although we have an itinerary, it is to be used as a guide only. “People are working on the roads so it’s very hard to estimate how long travel might take. It changes from month to month,” she explains. Sansar doesn’t say much and we assume he doesn’t speak English.

We pass sprawling fields of vibrant yellows, luscious greens and rusty browns. As the afternoon sun dances across an impossibly blue sky we sit and stare. This becomes my favourite activity.

One of our first stops is the ancient Amarbayasgalant Monastery, which was completed in 1736 and houses the remains of Zanabazar, one of Mongolia’s great Buddhist leaders. Named after two boys, Amur and Bayasqulangtu, who played where the monastery was later built, the complex is one of only a handful of monasteries still standing (having escaped destruction during the Stalinist purges of 1937). We roam around the deserted grounds taking in the chiefly Chinese-style architecture until we realise we’re not in fact alone as two young monks hurriedly walk past chatting animatedly to each other. Shinee explains that about 50 monks still call Amarbayasgalant home.

Our home for the night, like most nights, is a ger camp. These seasonal ‘hotels’ are set up by semi-nomadic businessmen during tourist season and welcome everyone from lone travellers to large groups. In the majority of cases, Westerners travel as part of a group tour as the roads can be hard to navigate. Out in the countryside there are no hotels, and gers and camping are the most popular accommodation options.

The aptly named Amarbayasgalant Ger Camp – comprising about 35 gers assembled in rows – is one of the bigger camps and has been operating for more than 15 years. Some gers have two beds, others four, and travellers generally share. A communal toilet and shower block is located towards the back and there’s a restaurant where groups dine together. There are no menus and the chef cooks whatever is fresh and available that day. We quickly discover that lunches at ger camps are extravagant three-course affairs, while dinners are more toned down, but still ample. Camps such as this one offer an insight into traditional nomadic life, albeit with many of the creature comforts of home.

It’s rude to say no to anything that is offered in a Mongolian home and we have no choice but to stay up drinking with the nomads.

Some days the grasslands stretch on forever with no trees, rocks or even shrubs in sight. Other days we drive through steep terrain with mountains so gargantuan you can’t imagine getting around them, but we do. We head north to Lake Khösvgöl and stop over at Blue Pearl Tourist Camp. The owner cooks fresh-caught lake fish one night and laughs heartily as he sips on a drink that he won’t share. We have a day to relax here and some of us go horse riding through a dense forest. Teamed up with a chain-smoking, mobile phone-talking guide, our horses trot through the bleak grey and murky-green woodland, then stop. Mongolian horses are petrified of yaks and we are forced to walk, leading the frightened animals back as dusk drapes over us.

Most of the time we spend a night or two at a camp and have one free day to explore the surroundings. We stop at the picture-perfect Terkhiin Tsagaan Lake with its absurdly crystal-clear water. Some sit and gaze, others partake in activities such as horse riding or trekking, and one of the bravest travellers in our group attempts a swim. He spends the following day rugged up still shivering. Although travellers have come from far and wide, everyone has one thing in common – the desire to immerse oneself in the vast and magnificent environment.

While we predominantly stay in ger camps, two homestays are incorporated into the itinerary and the group looks forward to this unique cultural experience. I assumed these were pre-organised and am very surprised one afternoon when we find ourselves scouring a barren landscape for two gers side by side that might accommodate us. Sansar (who after a few days begins to talk and we quickly learn his English is rather good) explains that two gers close together probably belong to one family, and a two-ger family will be more likely to squeeze in eight of us.

And so we get a taste of real nomadic etiquette. Sansar and Shinee stock up on meat in a village and give us a quick lesson in ger protocol: bring meat, ask to sleep on the floor. We find two promising-looking gers and sit in the van as Shinee and Sansar knock on the door. Half an hour later they emerge and our eyes light up inquisitively. They quietly get back in the van and Sansar starts the engine. “This has never happened before,” Shinee says quietly, then giggles. “Usually families always say yes but the man and woman of the house are away and the grandma who is looking after the children is unwell.”

With every passing kilometre nightfall descends. The road meanders like coiled veins and we quietly scan the panorama for two adjoining gers. As the flickering sun sets on another day Shinee points out a couple of gers in the distance. Sansar veers off the snaking road and goes cross-country.

The large family living here happily takes us in. They’ve never had tourists stay with them and we have a lot of meat to share. Although they don’t own mobile phones somehow the message of our arrival spreads and soon the ger we are planning to sleep in fills up with other nomads. Some come by horse, others come by motorbike, and they all bring homemade arkhi (vodka) in preparation for a fun-filled night. We have no common language but laugh for hours, shooting first the homemade vodka and then a bottle Sansar produces later that night (“I always have one for just in case,” he titters). It’s rude to say no to anything that is offered in a Mongolian home and we have no choice but to stay up drinking with the nomads. Eventually most go home and we collapse on the floor to sleep. A few hours later it’s sunrise – and the beginning of the day for the nomads. There are no sleep-ins when it comes to the nomadic way of life and everyone is up early milking the cows and tending to various other chores. We gather our belongings and stumble outside where a compelling 88-year-old woman who was drinking arkhi with us the previous night is leaning on the ger with a grimace on her face. I guess she, too, has a headache.

And so we set off again. There’s more to come. We’ve got more camps and another homestay to look forward to, as well as a visit to Little Gobi where two-hump camels roam across the rocky, sandy landscape. And this time when we break for a nature stop with no trees in sight, no one dawdles. Men go left while the women go right.

Hump Days

The figure making his way towards us gradually comes into view, and our guides announce ‘the butcher’ has arrived. He’s wearing a blue kurta with white ali babas (light cotton pants). Then I notice something black attached to the back of his camel and it appears to be moving. Instantly the knot in my belly tightens.

“I can’t believe they’re actually going to do this,” I whisper to my friend Charlie as we watch the butcher sharpen his knife with the precision of a surgeon. His focus is intense; his technique almost hypnotic. There’s no doubt he’s done this before.

I had no intention of having goat on my plate on Christmas Eve, certainly not out here in the remote dunes on the outer edges of the Thar Desert in Rajasthan. Our guides, however, had promised us something special for this magical night under the stars, and it seems rude to plea for the poor creature’s life. After all, we’re guests and this is how our hosts show their hospitality.

“Come on,” urges Charlie, presumably noticing the look of apprehension on my face. “It’s Christmas Eve. Let’s celebrate in style!” Then he smirks: “Where’s your Christmas spirit?”

Back in the mind of my 10-year-old self who tried to stay awake to catch Santa in the act, I want to say. But I don’t. Truth be told, I admire his enthusiasm. We’ve already spent two days riding camels through the desert, and we could use a little excitement – and some meat. Turns out goat makes an excellent turkey substitute, especially when surrounded by good company and the glow of a campfire under a starry sky.

Notorious for crowded trains and chaotic roads, India may not be the first place you’d think to explore by camel. But the 200,000-square-kilometre Thar Desert provides ample opportunity to do just that.

I’d arrived in Jaisalmer with three friends to embark on an epic five-day camel safari through the Great Indian Desert. Home to 80,000 inhabitants and located 575 kilometres west of Jaipur, the state capital of Rajasthan, Jaisalmer is a desert city protected by an impressive World Heritage-listed fort built on a sandstone ridge that dominates the surrounding desert. Looking very much like a sandcastle rising majestically above the flat sandy expanse, this desert citadel, guarding an impressive palace complex containing several ornate rooms, buildings and Jain temples, harks back to the days of the Rajput warrior clans.

Inside the fort’s sandstone walls, there’s a labyrinth of lively small streets populated by smiling merchants peddling spices, wooden idols, books and all sorts of exotic handicrafts. Flanking these lanes are magnificent havelis (private mansions) decorated with intricate latticework and floral designs, carved from wood and stone and dating back at least 500 years.

Walking through the narrow winding lanes up to the palace complex, I stumble upon handprints etched into the sandstone. They tell the story of the fort’s rather macabre past as the site of countless jauhar (mass suicides) throughout the Islamic invasion of India in the Middle Ages. The women and children self-immolated within these walls in accordance with this ancient Rajput tradition in a bid to avoid capture, enslavement and dishonour.

Entering a small chai shop, I’m greeted by a cheerful shopkeeper who gives me a brief lesson on the strategic importance of the city in centuries past. As a stopping point for camel caravans along a traditional overland trade route that linked India with Europe, the Middle East and Central Asia, Jaisalmer grew in wealth and was fiercely protected by clans of Rajput warriors who wielded gilt-edged swords and claimed descent from Hindu deities.

We poke fun at each other’s turbans before returning to our own little worlds as we watch the burning red sun slowly sink below the horizon. There really isn’t too much to say out in the desert.

Upon waking the next day, I have the faintest recollection of a dream. I remember walking through sand dunes and stumbling upon an old man charming his cobra. He was wearing a red turban and, with his wrinkled, sun-baked skin, looked about a hundred years old. As he played his flute, the charcoal-coloured snake gently swayed from side to side. I tried to speak to the man, but he was in a trance. I edged closer, trying to get him to notice me. Suddenly the cobra turned around and latched onto my arm – and that’s where the dream ended. Lying in bed in the early morning light, I see my friends already stuffing their backpacks. I can’t help but feel a little anxious.

We’ve been told temperatures will fall below zero come nightfall out in the land of shifting sand dunes, broken rocks and scrub. We were also warned that there would be no chance of a shower, no electricity and minimal food and water over the course of the five days.

This matters very little – at least to me. What a way to spend Christmas, I tell myself over and over again as we leave our guesthouse early in the back of an old Mahindra jeep, driven by a burly Brahmin who, with a big white beard, is reminiscent of Mr Claus. Just like those wise men 2000 years ago who were led by a luminous, twinkling star in the deserts of the Middle East, we are being led by the promise of adventure, hardship and a once in a lifetime experience. It’s been a long time since I was this excited about the festive season.

Cruising out of town, we pass crumbling buildings, groups of locals and the occasional cow. Some 40 kilometres shy of the India–Pakistan border the jeep begins to slow then veers off to the side of the road onto loose gravel. “There are your camels,” says the driver, pointing to a colourful caravan on the horizon.

We disembark, collect our bags and stare into the distance, waiting for our rides to arrive. The Indian sun blazes above us in the clear blue sky, yet it’s quite cold – about 10ºC or so.

Waiting for our adventure to begin, I take a moment to breathe and absorb my alien surrounds. The epic panorama of this arid, dusty landscape envelops us. There is yellow and rust-red sand, rocks large and small, and khaki-coloured foliage strewn across the land as far as the eye can see. At the horizon these colours merge with soft, light blues, gradually morphing into deeper hues the higher into the sky you stare.

In the distance windmills dot the expanse, and there’s a lonely settlement of cream-coloured, single-storey buildings. People carrying on a traditional desert life populate these local villages.

Our camels arrive and, after a quick introduction and a delicious lunch of roti and vegetable curry cooked on an open fire, we’re ready to begin. Slow off the mark, I’m relegated the group’s most senior camel – a droopy-eyed old-timer with a fat lip and foam dribbling from its mouth. “This one, he got in a fight,” Salim tells me, noticing my dubious expression. Salim is 28 and the older of our two guides. “But, he’s okay now,” he continues. “It’s a good camel, strong camel. Good for you.” I’m not so sure, but before I have a moment to hesitate, Salim instructs me to straddle the beast and I’m up. I glance over at my friends – each is wearing a smile as wide as the surrounding desert.

A mere 15 minutes into the safari, we yearn for independence and convince the guides to let us go it alone. They hand us the reins and teach us basic camel talk: je-je will get the camel to sit down; a tongue click makes it stand back up; hut-un means to speed up.

Three painful hours later – most of that time spent trying desperately to distract myself from the searing pain radiating from my upper thighs and groin – the mood lightens as we pull into our first camp. It’s a level area with a wooden hut and makeshift fire pit, flanked on all sides by golden dunes. With a je-je I disembark and the circulation begins to return to my battered and bruised thighs.

As we traverse the barren plains, we make occasional stops to water the camels and feast on delectable curry while our guides belt out soulful Rajasthani folk songs.

With almost the same spirit of delight found in children having finally arrived at the playground after an arduous journey, we run up the shifting dunes and spend the next half-hour sipping hot chai in the warm sand. We poke fun at each other’s turbans before returning to our own little worlds as we watch the burning red sun slowly sink below the horizon. There really isn’t too much to say out in the desert.

After a brief meditation, we return to camp and spend the next hour collecting firewood. Around the flames after dinner, discussion somehow turns to the subject of dreams and I recount my ominous vision of a cobra encounter. “You are a very lucky boy,” Salim tells me. In Indian mythology a bite from a snake foretells a gain in fortune. I don’t know what to think. With our stomachs full and bodies tired, we hit the hay under two thick blankets and a twinkling sky.

During the next four days the many moods of India’s Great Desert are revealed. We explore isolated local desert villages full of enterprising kids keen on making a handful of rupees in exchange for photo rights, and young women swathed in intricately patterned saris adorned with sequins and beads. Their eyes sparkle just like their jewellery in the midday sun.

Each day bleeds into the next. As we traverse the barren plains, we make occasional stops to water the camels and feast on delectable curry while our guides belt out soulful Rajasthani folk songs. Our legs enjoy each short respite, and we’re often left smiling by a gaggle of local villagers before slowly riding into the desert to face the elements once more.

I awake on the final day to the sound of fighter jets passing overhead, a reminder of the nearby Indian Air Force base and the fact that civilisation is close again. We pack our things, fix our turbans and straddle our camels for one final day.

The rising sun burns off the morning mist as we make our way back to the main road. I’m happy riding at the back of the group, enjoying the view of my friends and their camels in front of me and the passing scenery of rippling sand dunes.

Suddenly there is commotion up ahead. Perhaps growing impatient at his foreign subjugation, Charlie’s camel revolts and, in a frantic display, bucks him to the ground, launching dust and sand in the air. Almost like a superhero, Salim leaps from his camel several feet away and grabs the reins, subduing Charlie’s rebellious mount in a matter of seconds. It’s like a scene from a Bollywood action movie. As the dust clears, Charlie gets up, giddy and confused.

It’s scary yet exhilarating knowing your life and limb are at the mercy of an unpredictable animal that, no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise, you really can’t control. Charlie was lucky to have survived unscathed. I wonder whether he too dreamed of a biting cobra.

Elephant Hills

Set up shop in the wilds of the southern Thai jungle as you visit Elephant Hills. Start at the main camp, staying in one of 30 luxury tents boasting bathrooms, electricity (renewable, of course) and ceiling fans. Here, guests feed elephants, watch them bathe and learn about conservation and why rides are a no-go.


Once you’re ready to say goodbye to wi-fi, board a long-tail boat and sail deep into the tropical forest. Disembark at the Rainforest Camp where 10 tents bob over Cheow Larn Lake. From your terrace, slide into the water for a swim or lounge back and scour the canopy for snakes and gibbons.

During the day, learn to cook traditional Thai cuisine, meet elephants, go canoeing and spot wildlife on a jungle trek.

Royal Trisara Six-hand Massage

If one set of hands sliding over your oiled torso just doesn’t cut it, and an hour-long massage leaves you whimpering for more, check in for a session at Phuket’s Trisara Resort. You’re in for three masseuses, six hands and 90 minutes of bliss.

And if trekking to their open-air cabana is too much trouble, enjoy the Royal Trisara massage in a treatment room tucked inside your villa. Slathering you in lemongrass essential oil with a pinch of organic sea salt, the therapists start with your feet and shoulders, before pummelling every last knot of tension from your body.

Between hot herbal compresses and acupressure delivered by six Thai elbows, the hands sail across your skin in sync for the ultimate relaxation experience. To finish, they drizzle you with warm coconut oil before leaving you to float off to your private infinity pool with sweeping views of the Andaman Sea.